


Breaking Silentium (or, The One Where Film Club Is The Best Thing About College Except For Maybe Bastian Schweinsteiger's Glasses)

by zanoranna (rei_c)



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-09
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rei_c/pseuds/zanoranna
Summary: Holger and Thomas are best friends. They go to the same college, spend most of their free time together, and live for the once-monthly Film Club meetings. But mostly, they -- like so many others -- are obsessed with Bastian Schweinsteiger, the Film Club president, and his glasses.
Relationships: Claudia Lahm/Philipp Lahm, Gareth Bale/Theo Walcott, Holger Badstuber/Bastian Schweinsteiger, Lisa Müller/Thomas Müller, Lukas Podolski/Bastian Schweinsteiger, Sarah Brandner/Bastian Schweinsteiger





	Breaking Silentium (or, The One Where Film Club Is The Best Thing About College Except For Maybe Bastian Schweinsteiger's Glasses)

_Holger_

"So," Manu finishes in a hurry, "if we could meet up this weekend, that would be great." 

Thomas is already nodding so he's the first to say, "Of course," to Manu's suggestion. "Friday, maybe?" 

They both turn to Holger, who sighs and shakes his head. "We can't do it on Friday." 

Manu's eyes are wide; he already looks as if he's starting to panic. "But, we have to! We have to have our project outline done by class next Tuesday -- that's in _eight days_ \-- and we haven't even started yet and I still have a psych exam to study for and oh my god, you can't--." 

"It's Film Club on Friday night," Holger says, interrupting Manu before he has a full-fledged anxiety attack. 

Thomas smacks himself on the forehead, says, "Oh, _duh_. That's right, it's the third Friday. Yeah, shit, we can't until after the movie." 

Holger punches Thomas in the arm, says, "Like you'd be able to focus as soon as the movie's done. Besides, I heard there's going to be a _monologue_ before the movie." 

"You mean." 

"Yes," Holger says, and he knows his eyes are gleaming but fuck, he can't help it. "Monologue _notes_." 

Thomas groans and falls backwards on the bed. "Kill me," he says, letting one hand flop onto his forehead. "Right now. Just do it. Put me out of my misery." 

"Sweet, sweet misery," Holger says, grinning. 

Manu's looking between the two of them, utterly lost. He's pale, a little, and Holger feels sorry for him but nothing -- _nothing_ \-- gets in the way of Film Club. 

"We'll take you along," Holger says, "if you can tear yourself away from your computer long enough. Then you'd understand." 

"But," Manu argues weakly. "Our project?" 

> See, it's like this: Holger and Thomas have been best friends ever since they started high school together, two new kids in a crowd of people who'd spent their whole lives together in this shitty little town in the middle of nowhere. It's the town where Thomas' mom grew up, so it made sense for her to move back after the divorce, but there's no explanation for Holger's parents, really. Hippies, he'll say, to anyone who asks. Free spirits with more wanderlust than sense who moved again the summer after Holger graduated.
> 
> By that point, though, he was already registered for university and Thomas had been assigned as his roommate. After turning the town upside down with their pranks and athletic prowess during high school, both were ready to move on to a big, Division I school -- and all the fresh meat that meant. 
> 
> It's been fun, too, and even though they're only in their second year, every once in a while Holger floats the idea of staying here for grad school so that they don't have to leave right after graduation. Most of their friends are thinking the same thing and really, would they want to deprive everyone of their collective awesomeness so quickly? 

_Thomas_

Tuesday means pick-up basketball and, directly after, the weekly planning meeting for the next paintball tournament. Everyone gathers at the local pizza joint, pushing tables together in the back room and covering every available inch of the tabletops with food. 

There's not a lot of planning required. It's basically just an excuse to hang out off-campus and eat. 

"Oi, where's the margherita?" Juan asks, shouldering his way in between Bene and Mats. Holger points vaguely to the left but doesn't look up from the catalogue he's perusing with Thomas. 

"Shit, is that the new Spyder sniper rifle?" Romelu asks, looking over Holger's shoulder without apology. 

Thomas sighs happily. "A thing of beauty, right? Just think: one of these and I could sit in a tree and shoot people all day, just like Hawkeye." 

"If we listed all the ways you weren't 'just like Hawkeye,' we'd be here the rest of the year," Mats says. Thomas flips him off but doesn't tear his eyes from the catalogue. "Hey," Mats says, "did you ever talk to your people at the tech school? They interested in going up against us?" 

Bene snorts. "After we _killed_ the locals? They're too scared to meet us in battle." He sounds proud of that. 

"We're terrifying," Juan says, completely deadpan. "We are the baddest bunch of motherfuckers around. Now where's my damn pizza?" 

Six hands point at the margherita and two people scramble to offer it up to Juan. He might be on the small side, majoring in fine arts (drawing and painting), and _look_ innocent, but put Juan Mata in some fatigues, throw some greasepaint on his cheeks, and give him a paintball gun? The guy's the most lethal one out of all of them. Better to stay on his good side than 'accidentally' get shot right in the ass because that shit _hurts_.

.

They have no classes on Wednesday. 

Well. 

That's not _entirely_ true. They do have classes -- Thomas his mandatory health class at nine, Holger a two-hour physiology lecture at ten, and then they both have a two-hour German lecture at noon. But Thomas knows his health class professor and has already taken -- and passed -- the exams for the semester, Holger has close to a photographic memory for anything bio, and German... They like the professor, don't mind the others in the class, but when you've lived in a Pennsylvania Dutch town and taken four years of German in high school, the 101 class is pretty pointless. The only reason they've taken it is because they aren't allowed to test out of it and they need to pass 101 to get to German 201 next semester, and then German Lit the year after, where, they've heard, Sarah Brandner will still be the TA. 

Sarah Brandner is sex on legs. She's also Bastian Schweinsteiger's girlfriend.

Thomas and Holger have spent _hours_ trying to decide if they'd rather be Bastian, because then they'd get to sleep with Sarah, or Sarah, because then they'd get to sleep with Bastian. 

They haven't exactly reached a decision. 

The topic comes up every Wednesday, though, like clockwork, because the two sleep in, skip their morning classes, and go across campus to eat breakfast-at-lunchtime at the caf near the Lib Arts building. Bastian gets out of his morning class at eleven and he always waits at a table in the corner, going over notes for his afternoon classes until Sarah gets out of the German Lit class she TAs at noon. 

Thomas and Holger are sitting down at 11:55, covertly watching Bastian and whispering to each other about his fucking _glasses_ , when Sarah walks in, all long legs and long hair and --

"Oh-my-god-she's-wearing-that-dress-with-those-boots-how-is-she-even-real." 

The only reason Thomas can understand what Holger says is five-going-on-six years of friendship. And maybe also the fact that Holger says something along those lines every fucking Wednesday. 

Holger refuses to apologise, because, "Those _boots_." 

Thomas doesn't really push, because yeah, Sarah wears a pair of knee-high boots like no one else. 

"Perving on the Golden Couple again?" Both Holger and Thomas make shushing noises as Lisa sits down with them, laughing at them. "God, you two are pathetic." 

Holger just ignores her and goes back to staring, but Thomas puts one hand over his chest and says, "Ouch, Lees. Motherfucking ouch." 

"You never perv on me like that," Lisa replies, still grinning. "And I'm your girlfriend. Does this mean we need to break up? Have I lost you to those two?" 

When Lisa said that after the first time she caught them stalking Bastian and Sarah, Thomas panicked, tried to explain everything and got tongue-tied, more and more desperate, only to feel so absolutely confused when Lisa about fell over in hysterics. 

Now, Thomas just leans over, gives her a kiss, and says, "You never had me, Lees. Not all of me. Part of me will always belong to them." 

"I know," Lisa sighs. "Just like part of me does, part of Holger does, part of _everyone_ does." 

"The Golden Couple," Holger says, and if this were a cartoon, he'd have hearts in his eyes. "D'you think they'd ever make it a Golden Triad?" 

Thomas snorts; this is a more-than-familiar conversation, and sometimes he feels bad, because he has Lisa and they're madly in love, but Holger...Holger needs to find someone, and _fast_ , because his crush is rapidly turning into something stronger and Thomas doesn't want to see his friend's heart get broken.

Thomas doesn't say that, though. "You have no chance," he says, instead. "And even if you did, you are so not sexy enough to be 'golden.'"

"Fuck you, yes I am," Holger snaps back without heat. 

Lisa just picks up her fork and starts to eat, ignoring the bickering and keeping her eyes on the corner table as Bastian absently pushes his glasses back up.

. 

After Bastian and Sarah leave, hand-in-hand, him with his glasses hanging from his scarf, her in a bright blue dress, knee-high boots, and what has to be Bastian's cardigan, Holger slouches in his chair. "Thomas, there is only one thing that can take my mind off of the Golden Couple right now." 

"If you had a girlfriend, there'd be more than one," Thomas says mildly. 

Holger smacks Thomas without looking at him. 

Lisa just laughs. "All right, losers," she says, standing up and stacking garbage and trays. "Some of us actually have to go to class. Have fun with your little friends." 

She leans over and Thomas kisses her before he says, "You're just jealous." 

"Oh, yeah," Lisa laughs. "I'd totally like to go sit on my ass in front of a computer with a headset on for the next six hours rather than going to class and then out to dinner with Claudia." 

"I knew it," Thomas says. 

Once Lisa's gone, Thomas reaches over, pokes Holger, and says, "Come on, we have to jet. If we're late, Fips is gonna go ballistic." 

.

They're four-and-a-half minutes late. Philipp Lahm is waiting at the door to the computer lounge, arms folded across his chest and eyes narrowed. 

"You're late. If we don't have time to finish this," Philipp starts to say, but Holger shifts his laptop under his arm and presents Philipp with two four-packs of 20 ounce Red Bull cans, still chilled from the fridge at the QuickStop on the edge of campus. 

Philipp grabs the Red Bull, then says, "Get set up." 

Holger nods and Thomas gives Philipp a salute, the two of them skittering inside quickly, setting their gear up at a table face-to-face with the Bender twins. 

"Thought you were skipping out on us," Lars says, peering around his computer as he adjusts his headset. 

Sven adds, seamlessly, "Or you'd forgotten to pick up Fips' Red Bull." 

"Never," Holger says, with mock horror. "As if we would forget our most sacred duty." Holger gets the two laptops ready while Thomas unknots the headsets and sets out their drinks and snacks. 

Just about the time they're sitting down and everything's good to go, Philipp calls out, "Sixty second countdown, people, be ready!" There's murmuring around the room, partners and teams exchanging last-minute pre-game strategies, encouragement, or -- more likely -- trash-talk, but Holger simply cracks his knuckles and Thomas kicks his shoes off. 

When Philipp calls out the five second warning, Holger and Thomas bump fists. 

"'To infinity," Thomas says. 

"And beyond," Holger replies. 

The twins snort in unison but then the game begins.

.

They finally get to bed at five in the morning. 

The LAN party only goes until two am -- Lisa's six hour estimate short by six hours -- but then Philipp gets a call from Claudia and a text from Andi about this great party at Mario Gomez's house about the same time that Thomas gets a text from Lisa that just says 

_OMG GOLDEN COUPLE ALERT COME WITH FIPS AND BRING HOLGI_

So when Philipp says, "Jesus, I'm too old for this shit," Thomas throws an arm over his shoulders and Holger takes the garbage bag from Philipp's hand. 

"Come on, old man," Thomas says. 

"Seriously," Holger says. "You just downed, like, 160 ounces of Red Bull. How are you not bouncing off the walls?" 

Philipp glowers at the two of them and says, "Practice."

> A word of explanation.
> 
> This university that Holger and Thomas go to? It's big. There are thousands of people on campus at any given time, between the dorms, the apartments for upperclassmen, the houses for frats, postgrads, and professors, and the eighty million lecture halls and science buildings and theatres and studios and libraries that people are either coming from or going to 24-7. On top of that, lots of people live and work off-campus and just about every building in a ten-mile radius has something to do with the university. The city basically sprang up to support thousands of kids skipping class. 
> 
> It's pretty awesome. 
> 
> Outside of that ten-mile radius, though, the level of civilisation rapidly drops off. There's a lake to the north and mountains to the east and forest everywhere else. The nearest town is a thirty minute drive away; Holger says it's because civilians are smart, even though that town is older than the university's city.
> 
> Anyway, the point is, it's a big campus. There's no way that one person could know everyone. 
> 
> And yet. 
> 
> Mario Gomez grew up in this city. There are a lot of things that people say about Mario Gomez, starting with his father being an _emeritus_ , his mother still teaching illustration to the fine arts kids, and him getting older along with the university, moving from baby food to Cheerios about the time they added that parking lot out by the hockey rink, losing the last of his baby teeth when they expanded the performing arts centre, hitting puberty when they built the new chem and bio building, graduating from the local high school the year the university cut the tape on the new law library. 
> 
> It's like his DNA and the university's are intertwined at some deep, metaphysical level. Maybe that's why he seems to know everyone, from the professors to the fifth-year seniors to the prospective newbies. It's a little unnerving -- Thomas can say this from personal experience, having been heartily greeted by Mario, _by name_ , during his summer orientation -- but it's pretty cool, too, like having a safety net along with a permanent standing invite to the coolest parties. 
> 
> See, Mario lives off-campus, in a great big house near the outskirts of the city, right on the lake. The house belongs to him but since he pledged it's become the house of the most popular frat. The nearest neighbours are half a mile away but they're students too, and the cops know Mario from way back so they're inclined to give him space so long as no one underage drinks. No one does, partly because that would be serious social suicide but mostly because the bar's manned by Arjen Robben and Mark Van Bommel, two insane and intense hockey players and frat brothers who terrify pretty much everyone. 
> 
> Mario's not terrified by them, of course, because he's one of their frat brothers. 
> 
> So is Bastian. 

_Thomas_

"What's up?" Thomas asks Lisa, once he and Holger have made their way through the crowd in the house house and found her in the back, sitting around one of the firepits with Silvia on one side and Sylwia on the other. 

Thomas starts to squish between Lisa and Silvia but then Holger says, " _Oh my god_ ," in a distant tone that makes Thomas wonder if Holger's on the verge of passing out. 

"What?" Thomas asks, standing back up, moving next to Holger but just a tad behind, in case Holger starts to look unsteady on his feet. He's scanning the crowd and as soon as he sees what Holger does, Thomas feels a bit unsteady himself. "Oh, um. _Wow_." 

There's a crowd around the middle firepit, the one closer to the lake. Most of the insanely popular upperclassmen are there, the ones that everyone knows: Mario and Miro; Micha and Simone with Torsten and Petra; Olalla curled up with Fernando on one side and talking to Yolanda on the other while Yolanda's boyfriend, Pepe, is telling a story that has everyone near him laughing; Didier, J.T., and Frank in a mini-huddle just to the side with what looks like a huge box of fireworks at their feet. Directly across from Holger and Thomas, with the firelight flickering on their faces, are Bastian, Sarah, Lukas, and Monika. 

Bastian's wearing a scarf, like normal, and a pair of glasses ride low on his nose, the thick-framed hipster glasses that Holger so loves. He's in one of his button-ups, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and there's a flat cap perched jauntily on his head, almost crooked. He's laughing, looks halfway drunk, and Thomas watches, _again_ , as Lukas leans over and he -- and Bastian --.

"Please tell me I'm not imagining that," Holger says. "You're seeing this too, right?" 

"If you're seeing Bastian and Lukas making out," Thomas says, "then yeah, I'm seeing it too." Holger makes this little strangled noise and Thomas wants to check on his best friend but he simply _cannot tear his eyes away_. "No one's even reacting, are they?" Thomas asks. "How can they. I mean. D'you think this happens all the time?" 

Lisa twines her fingers with Thomas' and leans against him. "Silvia says it happens every time Bastian wears his glasses around the fire," she says. "Lukas has a thing for the glasses, I guess? Sarah and Monika think it's hilarious. Silvia says Bastian's utterly perplexed at the appeal but he, uh, obviously doesn't mind." 

"Of course Lukas has a thing for the glasses," Holger says weakly. " _Everyone_ has a thing for the glasses."

"Wow," Thomas says again. 

They're still standing there ten minutes later when Pepe starts shouting for more marshmallows. 

"Here," Silvia says, coming out of nowhere to dump five bags of jumbo marshmallows in Holger's arms. "Take these over to Pepe and stay there. Go on." 

She pushes Holger forward a couple steps. Holger gives Thomas a shocked, shaky look, and Thomas makes the 'go on' gesture along with an encouraging smile. 

"Don't smile," Lisa tells him, leaning close. "It's not helping." 

Holger gives them another wide-eyed look then stumbles over to the firepit. Thomas watches, clutching Lisa's hand as Pepe takes the marshmallows and tosses four bags over to Fernando before chucking the fifth bag right at Bastian and Lukas. 

"We have s'mores to eat," Pepe tells them, loud enough for Thomas to hear, though Thomas gets a little closer to see and hear what's going on. "An intrepid adventurer has brought us sustenance! Stop snogging." 

Lukas tears himself away from Bastian long enough to give Pepe a dirty look and tell him, "Fuck off."

"How Basti even has the patience to deal with you sometimes," Pepe says with an exaggerated sigh. He wraps an arm around Holger without looking, tugs Holger back close to the fire even though Holger had been trying to sneak away. Holger throws Thomas a look but Pepe says, "You, our intrepid marshmallow retriever! You would not try our Basti's patience, would you?" 

"N--no?" Holger replies, half a question. 

Sarah pats the space next to her and says, "Come here, Holger. Get away from Pepe while you still can." 

Thomas leans down to Lisa and asks, "How the _hell_ does she know his name?" 

Lisa sounds just as taken aback as Thomas feels. "I have no earthly idea." 

.

Holger looks tense, sitting that close to Sarah and Bastian, as Lukas finally stops kissing Bastian and Sarah licks the taste of Lukas from Bastian's mouth. The others try to engage Holger in conversation, probably following Sarah's lead, but Holger makes his excuses and escapes inside of ten minutes. 

Holger goes straight to Thomas and says, "Can we leave." 

It's not a question so Thomas doesn't treat it like one. He makes sure Lisa's got a ride back to the dorms and gives her a goodbye kiss, then leads Holger through the crowd and to his car. 

The radio's quiet on the drive back to the university proper, tuned to Toni's late-night punk/ska show on the campus station.

Once they get back to their dorm, Holger pretty much collapses onto his bed like he's a marionette and his strings have been cut. 

"I don't even know," he says, bleakly. 

.

Holger's gone when Thomas wakes up. That's not unusual for a Thursday, especially one after a LAN party. Holger has an English class that he actually likes on Thursdays at nine; it's not the class or the prof, but Mesut, Sami, and Josh are in that class and Holger gets along fairly well with the three of them. Still, Thomas would've thought that Holger'd still be in bed after the scene last night. 

"Shit," Thomas says, as soon as he remembers. " _Shit_." Simone's in that class and how she made it to her senior year without taking Comp 101, Thomas doesn't know, but Micha always walks her to class and picks her up, sometimes by himself but more often with Bastian, since the two of them have class together in the same building at the same time. 

Thomas rolls over to check the time and text his best friend but misjudges the distance left to the edge of the bed and falls off completely. 

"Ow," he says to the empty room. "Motherfucking ohmygodthathurt." 

. 

He's still lying on the floor ten minutes later when there's a knock on the door. 

"I fell off the bed," Thomas yells. "And I think I broke everything." 

Feminine laughter, laughter that Thomas thinks he recognises but isn't sure about. That's enough to have him roll onto his stomach, then push upwards. He crawls to the door on his hands and knees, and sits up to unlock and open the door. 

Sarah _fucking_ Brandner is standing there, grinning down at him. "Hi," she says. 

"I think I have a concussion," Thomas says. "Or I'm unconscious. This isn't real. Pretty much nothing real has happened since I fell off the bed; I probably hit my head too hard on the floor. Yeah. I'm not awake. I'm hallucinating. Or I'm dreaming." 

"You're rambling," Sarah points out. "Can I come in?" 

Thomas stands up, rubbing the back of his head as he steps to one side and gestures for Sarah to enter. " _Mein Haus ist dein Haus_ ," he says. "Sorry it smells like dirty socks. I could, uh. I could open a window?" 

"It's no worse than Poldi's room," Sarah says, and gingerly sits down in Holger's chair. Thomas wonders if maybe he could take a picture of her there, upload it, print it, frame it. 

Thomas perches on the edge of his bed. "Um. Not that I'm. But it's. And I thought. What I mean is. And then." Sarah's grinning, watching him fumble for words. She must get this a lot. "Shit," Thomas says. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting anyone to knock on the door, and then it's _you_ , and. Why did you knock on my door?" 

"First, to apologise for the scene Basti and Poldi made last night," she says. "You and Holger fled pretty quick; I wanted to make sure you weren't." She makes a gesture like that'll finish her sentence for her. 

Thomas is endlessly fascinated by how slim and graceful her wrist is. He has to jerk himself back into reality. "We weren't," he says, cheeks flushing. "It was just, uh, unexpected? Especially with you and Monika right there." 

"Good," she says, but doesn't explain anything. "Second, I wanted to talk to Holger. When will he be back?" 

It's not often that Thomas' best-friend-WARNING!! radar goes off but it's making noise like a klaxon right now. He has no idea why but if he did -- 

"I'm back now, Sarah," Holger says, standing in the doorway. 

\-- ah. That's why it's going off. 

"I could," Thomas says, pointing at the door and starting to slink towards it. "Y'know, so you two can." 

Thomas flees. 

Well. Sort of. He flees as far as next door, kicks the door because that's got to be less noticeable than pounding on it, right? and when Juan -- Agudelo, not Mata, because Mata lives in the international dorms, thank _god_ \-- opens it, Thomas brushes right past him and into the room. 

"Glass, glass, you have a glass," Thomas says, one ear pressed to the wall. "Come on, don't even front; I know you stole a glass from the caf. Where is it?" 

Juan holds it out and Thomas snatches it, puts that to the wall and tries to listen. 

"One of these days," Juan says, before Thomas shushes him. 

Juan sighs but doesn't ask questions. He knows better. 

Thomas is picking up words, random phrases, nothing that _really_ makes sense, and he's starting to get frustrated when there's a knock on the door. 

"I. Can't. _Hear_ ," he hisses. "Shut the fuck up." 

Juan, passing Thomas, smacks him -- and not lightly, either. "It's my tutor. Is it safe to leave you alone in here? Wait," he says, "not safe. It's never safe. Just, please don't do anything to my bed, okay? I sleep in that bed. I _love_ that bed. And if anything happens to that bed, I will murder you. With a spoon. A rusty spoon." 

"Tetanus? A nice failsafe. I like it." 

Shit. 

Thomas opens one eye, sees Thierry Henry engaging in some esoteric fist-bumping, hand-smacking, fast-moving greeting with Juan, and promptly closes his eye again. Of course. Thierry fucking Henry, only the most beautiful international student -- and he's _French_ , oh god is he French -- is Juan's tutor, Thomas _knew_ this, but seeing it eight feet away from him is something else entirely. 

"Just go," he groans, "and leave me to my misery." 

"Are all lowerclassmen like this?" Thierry asks. "Because I don't remember." 

Thankfully the door closes and the room is blessedly silent just in time for Thomas to hear Sarah telling Holger that she'll talk to him soon. 

"Mother _fucker_ ," Thomas mutters.

> Some people at this university assume that Thomas and Holger are joined at the hip. For being in two different degree programs, they take an awful lot of classes together: pretty much all their lib arts requirements, foreign language requirements, even, last year, soccer as their phys ed requirement. Holger's in bio and chem classes all day Monday and Tuesday, so Thomas loaded up his course schedule the same with his business and econ lectures, but they meet for lunch and study together in the evenings -- for as long as their attention spans let them.
> 
> Still, between the weekly LAN parties, the monthly paintball tournies, Film Club every third Friday, and the anime club every other Sunday, they _are_ in college for different degrees. It just doesn't come up much and no one really cares. 
> 
> Until now.

_Holger_

Holger is still standing in the middle of the room when Thomas bursts in like a deranged idiot, immediately charging over and grabbing Holger by the shoulders, shaking him a little as he asks, "What the fuck was Sarah Brandner doing in our room! What did you talk about! How did she know your name! Was it my imagination or did she smell like crème brûlée and magic!" 

The last question jolts Holger and he instantly replies, "Did you really think she smelled of crème brûlée? And what the hell does _magic_ smell like?" 

"Magic smells like Sarah Brandner," Thomas says, "so obviously she smells of magic. But I wasn't imagining the sugar thing, right?" 

"No," Holger says. "You're definitely right. She smelled like sugar. I bet Lisa would know." 

Thomas' eyes widen. "Holy shit," he says, stepping backward until the back of his legs hit Holger's chair. He falls onto it, says, "Do you think I could convince her to smell like Sarah?" 

Holger snorts. "Your girlfriend might not appreciate that." 

"Nah," Thomas says. "I think she has just as big a crush on Sarah as we do." He focuses, after that, and Holger bites back a sigh. "What," Thomas says, "was Sarah doing here?"

"She wants me to join Sigma Tau next year," Holger says. 

Thomas frowns. "That makes no fucking sense," he says. "You're a bio major." 

"I'm a bio major," Holger nods, jumping up onto his bed and crossing his legs. He feels absolutely exhausted. 

"You're already slated to join Tri Beta next year," Thomas says. 

Holger nods. "Yup." 

"And you don't have an English minor," Thomas says. "You don't need a minor. You don't have _time_ for an minor." Holger nods again, shrugs. "Why does she want you to join Sigma Tau?" 

"You remember that lit class we took last year? Apparently the prof kept all of our papers. I don't know why Sarah read mine, but she said I'm, and I quote, 'wasting myself' in bio," Holger says. He tries for a light tone, knows he comes off as bitter by the look in Thomas' eyes. "I know," Holger says before Thomas can open his mouth. "I just. If had been anyone but Sarah, right?" 

Thomas lets out a deep breath. "Well, fuck that shit," he says. "It's Thirsty Thursday. Let's get drunk." 

Holger grins, feels the tension start to ebb out of his shoulders and neck. "You, my friend, are the smartest person I know." 

. 

They head off-campus, a few miles away where it's more 'townie' than 'student,' and to the bar they scouted out during orientation week. They were too young to drink, then, but the place is eighteen and over, so they made friends and worked their way in with the locals on fifty cent wing nights (Mondays), ninety-cent taco nights (Wednesdays), and five-buck pizza lunches (Saturdays). Most college kids walking in would get a definite 'this is not the bar you're looking for' vibe, but Thomas and Holger get salutes from a few of the locals drinking and a wave of the towel from Oriol, drying glasses behind the bar. 

Their usual table's free so Thomas goes over to grab it before anyone else can steal the chairs. Holger heads for the bar, gives Oriol a fist-bump and says, "Ori, my man, please tell me there's a special on pitchers tonight?" like the Thursday special might've changed for the first time in years. 

"Duh," Oriol replies, flicking the towel out to hit Holger's shoulder. "Skins and sliders?"

Holger grins, puts one hand over his heart and says, "Are we really that predictable?" 

Oriol laughs. "Like clockwork. Go sit down, make sure Thomas doesn't get bored. I'll bring over a pitcher." 

"I love you," Holger says, earnestly. "You are the bestest, most perfect underage man on the face of the planet." 

"Underage," Oriol says. "I like how you put that qualifier in. Get the fuck away from my bar, Badstuber." 

.

They start drinking; the potato skins and mini-burgers come out about ten minutes later, after the two have started their second pitcher. Juan -- Mata, not Agudelo, because Juan Agudelo's probably still off with Henry somewhere, being conned into doing something _French_ \-- shows up after the first round of wings and the third pitcher; he's there to drop something off for Oriol but stays to drink and talk with Thomas and Holger for an hour or so. 

The bar starts to fill up with regulars, most of whom come over and say hi before sitting down around a table or at the bar, and Holger relaxes. He feels safe here, settled, and after Juan leaves and they're drawn into conversation with the next table over about the playoffs, it's almost enough to forget about Sarah's visit and Bastian's display with Lukas the night before. 

Almost. 

> Truth number one: every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
> 
> Truth number two: Holger's a pretty good writer, if by 'pretty good' one _really_ means 'fucking awesome.' 
> 
> The two have this in common: 
> 
> Holger likes to write, likes to write about anything, but growing up the way he did has given him two things: an unhealthily realistic view of the world and a need for financial security. Pursuing writing as a career is neither realistic nor going to offer any security. Writing will not get him a job after graduation. It's not going to put food on his table, it's not going to pay back his student loans, and it's sure as hell not going to be attractive to someone like Sarah or someone like Bastian. 
> 
> He had enough of moving when he was younger and he still can't stand the taste of bologna and Kraft singles to this day. His parents loved him, but they loved art more, his mom's poetry and his father's painting, and they were _fucking poor_. 
> 
> Holger hated it. He hated it with a passion and he still hates it. He swore he never would do that to his children. Bio seemed like a logical choice; Holger is good at science and he likes it well enough, he never got squeamish when they dissected frogs and he built the best parachute in the history of his high school's annual egg drop. Chemistry _makes sense_ and physics equations are things of fucking beauty. 
> 
> So sometimes his fingers itch to pick up a pencil and just write. So sometimes he thinks of the perfect phrase, the most perfect sentence. So sometimes he feels like maybe the rhythm of words is better than formulae, better than music, is like the rhythm of the ocean, strong and unstoppable and always in motion. 
> 
> It's not enough. 

_Holger_

"Friday classes suck. Friday classes suck _balls_."

Holger snickers and claps Philipp on the shoulder as they run into him outside. "Poor Fips," he says, though he backs away when Philipp pins a glare on him that's enough to melt plastic. 

"I know I say this every week," Thomas starts, and Holger joins in with him, saying in unison, "but you're a senior -- how did you get stuck with a Friday class?" 

"One of these days," Philipp starts to say. 

A flash of blonde hair out of the corner of his eyes has Holger ducking away in reflex. He knows it's Claudia, they see her every week, too, coming to give Philipp a large red-eye from the shop right on the edge of campus on her way to work, but he can't help it. Blonde hair makes him think of Sarah, which makes him think of Bastian, which -- now -- makes him think of that bonfire reflecting off of Bastian's glasses and the way Lukas looked at him. 

And then kissed him. 

For five minutes straight. 

"You're so grumpy in the morning," Claudia says, grinning. "It's adorable. And reason five million and six that I love you."

That makes Holger smile, because Claudia is amazing and wonderful and perfect, especially when she's teasing Philipp. She's the only one that can get away with it and, even better, it puts the slightest hint of a blush into Philipp's cheeks and makes the tips of his ears turn red. 

She's totally right. Philipp can be adorable.

"Claudia, I'm going to be late," Philipp says, though he doesn't seem to mind and, really, it'll only take three minutes for him to make it up to the third floor of the science building from here and his lab doesn't start for another thirteen minutes. 

"You are _so_ OCD about being on time," Thomas points out, though he shrinks back, hands held up in front of him, when Philipp glares at him. 

Claudia laughs and leans in, gives Philipp a kiss on his cheek. "All right, then," she says. "Go on. I get off at seven. Come pick me up? We can go out for dinner or something." 

"Seven," Philipp says. He gives Claudia a kiss, a _real_ kiss, and then stomps off toward the science building, taking a sip of his coffee every third step. 

Claudia stands there and watches him for a minute before she says, "One of these days, he's totally going to find out that's actually decaf," and leaves Holger and Thomas staring at her, eyes wide and mouths open, as she walks away. 

"Did she," Holger says. 

"Yes," Thomas says. 

There's a moment of silence before Holger breathes, "She has the biggest balls of anyone I know." 

Thomas hums, says, "Big _and_ brass. Maybe steel. What's the heaviest element? That's what her balls are made of." 

"Steel's not an element," Holger says. "Neither's brass."

"You know what I mean." Thomas elbows Holger right in the ribs.

Holger shrieks and swats Thomas on the back of the head before jogging forward, putting himself out of Thomas' incredibly long reach. "Whatever," he says. "They should rename it. Call it claudium."

"Claudium," Thomas echoes, catching up. The two start jogging, heading for the long route around the edges of campus. "Yeah. Claudium sounds about right." 

.

They prep for that night's official Film Club meeting with their own, unofficial film club meeting. Holger and Thomas clean up their dorm room as much as they can, which means they kick stuff under their beds and shove as much as they can in the closet, so long as the beds, floor, and loveseat is cleaned off. 

Juan -- Mata, not Agudelo, because Juan Agudelo has this personal vendetta against movies, it's totally weird -- and Oriol are first to show up, bearing ten pizzas, ten foil-wrapped packages of breadsticks, and five boxes stuffed full of wings. 

"I love you," Thomas says to Oriol, taking the wings and resting his cheek on the top box. "Like, Ori, I _love_ you." 

"Lisa will be so jealous when I tell her," Oriol replies dryly. "Now stop molesting the styrofoam."

The door's been propped open but Corey still raps his knuckles against it. "Ahoy," he says, and comes in, carrying one end of the cooler. 

Connor's got the other end, says, "I don't know why you fucking knock every time, they leave the fucking door open."

"It's _polite_ ," Corey replies, rolling his eyes as he bumps fists with Oriol. "Jeremy can't make it, guys. He's got practice. Coach has been running them hard all week." 

"Season only started last week," Connor says, "and I don't know what they did to piss coach off so bad, but Jer's practically dead when he gets home after practice." Connor looks at Corey, who gives him a nod, and Connor takes a deep breath before adding, "I don't think he's gonna make it to Film Club tonight." 

Everyone stops what they're doing and stares at Connor. 

"Wow," Holger finally says. "That's. Wow." 

"What did we miss?" Theo asks, peering around the edge of the doorframe, absently pushing up his glasses. "Is it safe?"

Gareth looks inside as well, chin on Theo's shoulder. "As safe as it normally is, he means," Gareth amends. 

Theo shrugs, knocking Gareth's chin off. "Yes, thank you for that," Theo snarks. No one really takes any notice; Theo tends to snark a lot where Gareth's concerned, though he doesn't do it to anyone else. Gareth doesn't mind -- in fact, most of them think he likes it. They just can't get him to admit it. 

"So, who're we missing?" Gareth says, apparently having decided it's safe enough to let Theo inside the dorm room. "Jez? Oi, where's Jezza?" 

"Jezza," Connor says. "What the fuck kind of nickname is that? You make him sound like some kind of English poof, you English poof." 

Corey elbows Connor, says, "That's hate crime language, Con. You shouldn't call them poofs."

Connor pouts, argues back, "But Gareth _is_ a poof. He's regularly engaging in homosexua--."

"No more of that," Corey says, once he's firmly got his hand over Connor's mouth. "Sorry, Theo."

"No worries," Theo says, his own hand over Gareth's mouth. "We should really be used to them doing this by now -- _Gareth, so help me god_ , stop licking my -- oh, you're _incorrigible._ "

Holger looks at Thomas, who looks back, rolls his eyes, and then wiggles his eyebrows for good measure.

Juan pops up in front of Gareth then -- Holger blinks because _where the hell was Juan a second ago?_ \-- and says, utterly serious, "I will fuck your hair up if you don't calm down and watch this movie. We're up to _Akira_ and I love _Akira_ and if you ruin it, then I will ruin you. Understood?" 

Theo's hand is still over Gareth's mouth, so Gareth just nods frantically in agreement as his own hands hover protectively around his hair. 

Juan nods, then turns to Holger and says, "Let's start. We don't want to be late for tonight." 

For a split-second -- one that stretches out to eternity like a really long and stringy piece of taffy -- Holger thinks that Juan knows something. 

But that's stupid. 

Right?

.

Seventy-five minutes later, Oriol's fast asleep on the floor and he has six pizza boxes, three empty styrofoam boxes, and twelve empty beer bottles balanced on his back. Juan's either ignored the whole thing or is just _that_ focused on the movie, it's hard to tell, but Gareth, Connor, and Thomas built it and have been taking pictures and rearranging things for the last ten minutes. 

Corey and Theo are keeping an eye on their bromantic and romantic other halves, respectively, and Holger's sitting on his bed, watching all of them and keeping one eye on the film in case Juan quizzes them all after it's done. 

All he can really think about is Film Club. 

> Film Club. As campus legend has it, Film Club started out with an official name, an official faculty sponsor, and official student funding about forty years ago by three sophomore film students. Back then, it was called Gonzo Movies, because the sponsor was a little sick and the students didn't have Google. This might also be the reason that funding was pulled a little over three years later, when the professor was accused of all sorts of sordid crimes, disappeared, and was never seen again. (Mario Gomez has been heard to say that the FBI got involved and tracked said professor to Mexico, but there's no proof and the US has an extradition treaty with Mexico and Mario wasn't alive then, anyway.)
> 
> It started up again in the late 70s, this time by the Film Studies department as a whole, and was named, simply 'Film Club' in that year's student catalogue. No one has had the heart to change the name since. 
> 
> Different students have been voted president since, some of them having a huge impact -- Sepp Blatter, one of the first student presidents, is now widely remembered as The Worst Film Club President Ever in the History of All Film Club Presidents™, closely followed by Michel Platini in the mid-80s, while the picture of Franz "Beckie-B" Beckenbauer (Class of '82) is untouched but surrounded by hearts -- and some not -- pretty much all the presidents in the '90s, apart from David Beckham. 
> 
> Bastian Schweinsteiger joined the Film Club his freshman year, never missed a meeting or a movie, and was voted president his junior year. 
> 
> That was last year, and it was Bastian Schweinsteiger standing in front of the lecture hall, introducing _Urotsukidōji I: Legend of the Overfiend_ , when Holger and Thomas stumbled in to their first Film Club meeting. They went to eight movies as freshman: eight times of the most crazy, random movies they'd never heard of; eight times of Bastian standing up front in his glasses and reading the backs of DVD cases or internet print-outs, inserting his own dry comments into the introductory monologue; eight times of watching Bastian engage with his best friends and his absolutely gorgeous girlfriend and her friends. 
> 
> Film Club is a crazy thing. There are forty regulars, plus a couple dozen or so who come when they like the movie of the month, and Bastian keeps them all rangled without much help. If Film Club is a family, then Bastian is the mom. 
> 
> Somehow, it works. 
> 
> Bastian is a great mom.

_Thomas_

"Okay," Thomas says, squinting at the poster just outside the lecture hall that Film Club meets in. " _Enter the Void_. What's this one about?" 

"It's French," Fernando says. He's lounging against the doorframe and Thomas knows Fernando's watching the hall with eagle-eyes even though his bangs are falling over the front of his face. "You know, one of those psychedelic French postmodern films." Fernando makes a gesture that seems to indicate that there are a million 'psychedelic French postmodern films' and he's seen all of them and left being not very impressed. 

Fernando always has this ineffable sense of being older and more jaded than anyone else in the room. Thomas is awed by it and has tried to emulate it a few times but it usually ends with Holger bursting into hysterics. Pretty much no one can do cynical like Fernando Torres and he does it _all the time_. Actually, the attitude only drops when he's around his best friend, Sergio, who's on a study-semester in Sevilla, or Olalla, his girlfriend. 

Olalla never comes to Film Club. 

"Don't 'you know, one of those French whatever whatevers,' Fer," Juan says, shouldering past Thomas and bumping fists with Fernando. "You _love_ French movies." He's almost into the lecture hall when he calls out, "And you're a pretentious bastard."

Fernando harrumphs, rolls his eyes. "How do you solve a problem like Juan Mata?" he says, into the air, before picking Oriol out from behind Connor and Corey. "Ori, hey," Fernando says, doing one of those guy nods where he lifts his chin in greeting -- not so high as to portray excitement, just enough to say something like 'Hey, I see you and I am okay with you being here, inasmuch as I am ever okay about things in general.'

Thomas maybe sometimes thinks about switching his major to sociology and writing a senior thesis on the guy nod. It's Lisa's fault; she's the one that brought it to his attention last year and now Thomas can't help but see it everywhere. 

"Uh, hey," Oriol says, his cheeks bright red with a flush that spreads upwards to the arch under his eyebrows and down to his neck. "Good to, um, yeah, good to see you."

It's sort of pathetically cute how much of a crush Oriol has on Fernando. Thomas would tease Oriol about it but, well, every great once in a while, Thomas can actually be nice. 

Also, Lisa threatened him. Teasing Holger about Bastian is fine, since they're best friends, but teasing Oriol should be left to Juan, since they're best friends. Though, after what they saw at the bonfire, maybe teasing Holger should be put on the back-burner, too. 

"You losers coming in or not?" Lukas is standing near Fernando, one eyebrow raised, one arm on Fernando's shoulder. "Basti's ready to start." 

Thomas glances over at Holger, who is wearing his best 'I obviously didn't see you making out with the object of my year-long obsession, because I am smiling at you and not leaping across the distance between us and punching your fucking face in' expression. It's convincing enough to steal the words from Thomas's mouth. 

Instead, it's Gareth who leans around Thomas to tell Lukas, "Piss off, Poldi, we've still got a few minutes and we're on the way." 

"Big words, little sophomore," Lukas says. "Big words. Now get a move on it and get in here already."

Thomas gives Lukas the finger, Lukas does it back and then disappears back into the lecture hall. Fernando sighs, says, "We won't appreciate the atmosphere of the film if we're not high," and follows Lukas inside. 

Holger pats Oriol on the shoulder and says, "Ready to face the music?" 

"It's not the music I'm worried about," Oriol mutters, but he squares his shoulders, brushes past Thomas, and enters JXJ 102. 

Thomas gives Holger a raised eyebrow and, after Holger lets out a deep breath and nods, Thomas leads the way inside. 

.

It's pretty much like normal. Bastian's down on the floor in front of the lectern, flipping through his notes. The centre back row is filled with Bastian's fellow seniors: Mario, Torsten and Petra, Micha and Simone, Miro and Lukas. Sylvia, Sylwia, and Sarah are on the left, going through their own sets of papers, and Fernando, Didier, J.T., and Lampard are on the right, hunched over and talking about something Didier's showing them on his phone. The normal crowd of lib and fine arts kids are near the front on the right, the honours kids on the left, pairs and trios scattered all over. 

Everyone looks up when their group walks in and most wave or salute in greeting. Thomas flashes the peace sign and Holger waves a little. Connor and Corey peel off to go sit by some of the other hockey kids that look exhausted and, yeah, Jeremy's over there as well, looks like he's already asleep. Oriol sees Juan sitting in the row in front of Fernando and he steels himself before going to join Juan. 

Theo and Gareth head for the front row and Lampard calls out, "Hope you two aren't gonna make out the whole fucking movie again," as they pass. 

"We're more entertaining than the flick, Lamps, is that what you're saying?" Gareth snaps back, grinning as he follows Theo to the middle of the row. "You should've brought Christine if you're jealous." 

"She can't stand Noé," Frank says, smiling as well. "Else I think we'd give you a run for your money tonight." 

Gareth snorts but sits down when Theo tugs him, the two of them stretching out and kicking off their shoes. 

Thomas looks over at Holger and tilts his head in question. Holger nods, so Thomas leads them to their normal seats, right in front of Lukas and the empty seat next to him, where Bastian will sit once the movie's started.

A couple more people sneak in, but when Bastian's watch beeps, Fernando and Sarah get up, close the doors. 

"Right," Bastian says. He puts on his glasses and a ripple of noise travels through the room. Bastian looks up from his notes, frowning, but when no one says anything, he looks back down at the lectern. " _Enter the Void_ , directed by Gaspar Noé, released in 2009, just under two and a half hours long. Even though it's French, the movie's in English so we won't have to read subtitles, which I know has the hockey team breathing snores -- I mean _sighs_ \-- of relief." 

There's some mumbling and smart-ass comments from the hockey players but Bastian soon goes through his brief introduction of the movie -- influences, actors, history of the film, a few interesting facts -- and as he's closing up, he says, dryly, "This movie is a part of my senior thesis. If you were here last year for _Requiem for a Dream_ , this is like that movie on LSD; I hope you brought aspirin. If not, and either way, chances are you'll end up depressed, so as a special one-off, we'll be showing some _Pink Panther_ cartoons after the movie. Don't get used to it. Next month we've got a Dario Argento double-feature planned: _Suspiria_ and _Inferno_ , the first two movies of his _Three Mothers_ trilogy." 

"Why won't we be watching the third?" Miro calls out. 

"Because the third one sucks," Bastian says. "If any of you want to see it, let me know and I'll smack you. Okay? We ready?" 

A murmuring chorus of agreements and Bastian takes off his glasses, grabs his notes, and climbs the steps. Thomas can feel Holger tense when Bastian passes them and he thinks about reaching over and patting Holger's knee, but that's more of a Lisa thing to do, so he just elbows Holger instead. 

Bastian starts the movie and turns off the lights, then sits down next to Lukas.

> The third movie of _The Three Mothers_ trilogy, by the way, is _The Mother of Tears_. There was a twenty-seven year gap between _Inferno_ and _The Mother of Tears_.
> 
> It shows. 

_Holger_

"Wow," Thomas says, once the credits have stopped rolling. The lecture hall is completely silent so everyone hears him when he goes on to say, "That was worse than a Gilliam movie."

Holger resists the urge to punch him but a few people snort and Petra, behind them, smacks the back of Thomas's head as everyone else seems to wake up from the disorientingly hypnotic spell the film cast. 

"What?" Thomas asks, turning around. "It's true. Gilliam movies make me ridiculously antsy. This was more like -- you know, it made me antsy but made me sit here. Like that scene in _Clockwork Orange_ , right, where they have Alex strapped down with his eyes pinned open and the brainwashing is almost done and he's trying to get away but he can't? That's the way this movie makes me feel." 

There's silence from the row behind them, then Micha says, "You are one _strange_ person, Müller."

"It's not a bad comparison," Bastian says thoughtfully. 

Holger closes his eyes for a moment, trying to control the frantic pounding of his heart; the lights are still down and no one can see him. He's never been this bad around Bastian before; Holger has felt hopelessly off-balance since the bonfire on Wednesday and if he was off-balance then, Sarah showing up at his dorm room knocked him flat on his face. 

Bastian goes on, says, "There's the drug connection of course. And then they both have a certain political awareness about them. _Clockwork_ much more, of course, being a satire. I can see _Void_ being more of a commentary on current societal emptiness, maybe distrust in political systems?" He pauses, makes a thoughtful noise, then says, "Thanks, Thomas. I might be able to footnote that in the thesis." 

Thomas sounds bewildered when he says, "Oh, yeah, sure. No problem." 

"Enough with the school talk," Gareth calls out from the front row. "It's Friday and you promised us _Pink Panther_." He starts humming the theme song, which is quickly picked up by pretty much everyone else in the hall. Holger wants to turn around and look at Bastian, sure that Bastian's grinning and amused by this as much as Holger is. 

He doesn't, though. Holger just waits, listening as Bastian grumbles under his breath and gets up, switching DVDs. There's a ragged cheer when the music and opening credits start. Holger grins, can't help it, because he loves the _Pink Panther_ cartoons, though he stiffens when Bastian, back in his chair behind Holger, leans forward. 

"Hey, hang out for a minute after we're done, all right?" Bastian murmurs, right into Holger's ear. 

Holger shivers, one of those full-body shivers that has his hair standing straight up everywhere on his body, gives him goosebumps on his goosebumps, and, because this is Bastian, his dick gives an interested little twitch as well.

"Yeah," Holger says, and wills himself to _not_ get a hard-on, thank you very much.

.

They watch ten cartoons and the time both drags and flies by. When people start filtering out of the lecture hall, Thomas tilts his head. 

"Bastian asked me to stay a minute," Holger tells him. "So." 

Thomas's eyes turn sharp and concerned; Holger gets a warm feeling in his chest, somewhere near his heart. He's lucky to have such an awesome friend, though if he ever tried telling Thomas that, Thomas would no doubt try and give him a swirlie or something. 

"I'll wait outside," Thomas says, and slips past Holger, catching up with Theo and Gareth.

Once everyone's gone and Bastian has the equipment packed up, he gestures to the stairs and sits two steps down, stretching out his legs. 

Holger sits down as well, once step lower, and prays that his heart isn't beating as frantically as he thinks it is. "What's up?" he asks, ready to get this over and done with. Being alone with Bastian is -- well, it's fucking awesome, but it's also really fucking with Holger's mind. 

"You did a paper on _Clockwork_ ," Bastian says, looking at Holger over his glasses. 

Holger's stomach does a little flip-flop and he nods. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I -- how did you know that?" 

Bastian gives Holger a _look_ and takes his glasses off, pinning his eyes on Holger. Holger suddenly realises where this conversation is going and he desperately wants to flee. He really, really wants to flee. 

"Look, Holger," Bastian says. "You were in a freshman Western Civ class and you wrote a ten-thousand word essay on Nadsat that was passed around the entire English department because no one believed it wasn't plagiarised, it was _that. good_. Last month you wrote an essay on "American Ideology" for your Comp 101 class that nearly gave your TA a heart attack when she tried to grade it. What the hell are you doing in the biochem program?" 

Holger stares at Bastian and, for the first time ever, actually feels angry when he looks at Bastian instead of besotted. "It's none of your business," Holger says. He's doing his best to remain calm. "Listen, Sarah already asked me the same question and I." 

"And you brushed her off," Bastian says, interrupting. "Which, okay, fine. But I wanted to try." Bastian takes a deep breath. "Holger. You have an _amazing_ talent, all right? I just want to know that you know that. You're right: what you major in, what classes you take, what your plan is, it's none of my business. But if it's your parents or." 

Holger lets out a bitter little chuckle which cuts Bastian off mid-sentence. "Right," Holger says. "My parents. Can we not do this? Please?" 

Bastian smiles, says, "Yeah. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. It's just that FIlm Club's never had a biochem person as president before. But we're here to break tradition and all that anyway, right?" 

"Never had a. Break. _What_?" Holger can't believe what he's hearing, because if he did, then he'd be able to understand the implications of what Bastian's saying and that's just -- that's just preposterous. 

"We were trying to decide between you and Thomas, actually, but I kind of think you'd be a better mom," Bastian says, like that's somehow supposed to make _sense_. 

Holger blinks, says, "Could you just. What?" 

Bastian laughs and the sound makes Holger melt. "I'm graduating at the end of the year, Holger, and yeah, I'm staying here for grad school, but the rules say that an undergraduate has to be president. I'd like it to be you." 

"But there are -- we vote," Holger says. "You can't just. You can't just pick someone." 

"Technically," Bastian says, "we vote. Yes. You're right. But off the record, okay? Pretty much whoever the steering committee decides is good enough will get the nod. I think you'd make a kick-ass Film Club president and you'll be a junior next year, that's the only other requirement other than enrollment status to look at. If you agree, then I'll nominate you and I guarantee you'll get in. So. Yes? No? Do you want to run screaming now?" 

Holger doesn't know what to do. He wants to pinch himself to make sure he's not dreaming, he wants to run away and hide, he wants to steal Bastian's glasses and keep them locked up in his room forever, he wants to lean forward and kiss the weight of expectation off of Bastian's lips. 

"Yes," Holger blurts out. "Yes, I'll do it." 

He's not thinking when he says it and he doesn't care what it means, not when Bastian smiles this breathtaking, heart-stopping smile and says, "Thank you, Holger," before leaning forward and giving him a little kiss, right on the lips.

.

Holger leaves the lecture hall, still stunned. He's not at all aware of his surroundings, so when Thomas peels himself off the wall and grabs Holger's arm, Holger yelps in surprise. 

"Whoa," Thomas says, stepping back and putting his hands up. "Sorry, man. You okay?" 

"Yeah," Holger says. 

Thomas waits for about three seconds; when Holger doesn't explain, Thomas moves in front of him, grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. "What happened?" Thomas asks. "Holger, tell me, tell me, tell me!" 

"Bastian kissed me. Bastian kissed me and I think I just agreed to be the next Film Club president," Holger says. He blinks, finally focuses his eyes on Thomas. "Oh, shit. I think I just agreed to be the next Film Club president." 

> Holger starts meeting Bastian once a month to go over Film Club stuff. At first, the meetings are an exercise of Holger's self-restraint. Eventually, though, Holger forgets how flustered Bastian and Bastian's glasses make him and they develop a friendship that turns the butterflies in Holger's stomach to a slow burn.
> 
> Nothing happens, just a kiss, more a peck, every so often and when Holger least expects it. Every once in a while there's a look in Bastian's eyes that Holger's not sure about but Bastian doesn't say anything about it, so Holger doesn't say anything about it either. 
> 
> Sarah catches them once and just gives Holger a deeply contented, slightly predatory smile that gets Holger so mixed up, he actually shows up at his Wednesday physiology lecture. Two girls burst into tears at the sight of him because he never goes to his Wednesday physiology lecture unless there's a test to take and he's there so there must be a test but they didn't prep for one. 
> 
> After the elections in March, it's official: Holger's the next president, Thomas the next vice-president, one of the lib arts kids wins secretary, and Oriol -- a _freshman_ , of all things, though at least next year he'll be a sophomore -- is voted treasurer. 
> 
> Bastian graduates in May. Holger goes to the ceremony, then the after-party at Mario's house and pointedly does not flush when Bastian picks him out of the crowd, throws an arm around Holger's shoulder, and yells, "To the next Film Club president!" 
> 
> He does flush, though, when Bastian kisses his cheek and runs his thumb over Holger's lips in front of everybody. 
> 
> "Hey," Lukas calls out. "Leave the undergrad alone, you lech." 
> 
> "Nah," Bastian says, grinning down at Holger, as Sarah presses against Holger's other side, leaves a lipstick-imprint of her lips on his cheek. "I've got this one trained, now. I'm not letting him go."


End file.
